Writing was fairly non-existent this week, as I spent the time playing catch up on all of the big life issues we humans seem driven to tackle at the beginning of each year. I’m also a bit of procrastinator (which is why our Christmas cards haven’t gone out yet and are morphing into New Year’s Cards).
So it’s only natural that my New Year’s Resolutions come at the middle of the month instead of the beginning. (Keep in mind, this is better than years past, where resolutions might be made over a green beer on St. Patty’s Day! I get better with age).
I vacillated whether or not to put such a personal post out into the blogosphere, but in the end, I decided that hey—we are all human. We struggle, whether we tell each other we do, or whether we pretend to the world that we don’t. So here are some of my struggles. Don’t worry, I don’t plan to turn Heather’s Historical Hodgepodge into a journal to air my issues. But since it is still January and technically a New Year, I’m allowed. :)
This year, making resolutions was a little harder than some. You see, my birthday is in December and I am now officially closer to 40 than I am 30 and I’m starting to feel the sand slipping a bit. There’s a little more pressure to conquer the personal goals that have always seemed to conquer me. There are the memories of failures past, taunting me…you’ve failed for 35 years, what makes you think this year will be any different? You’re set in your ways…can’t teach an old dog…blah blah blah.
Therefore, instead of writing, I spent the last week making plans. Plans to succeed. What will it take to get healthier so that I can be there for my son when he’s my age and hopefully beyond? How am I going to use my time effectively so that I can be the mother I want to be AND the wife I want to be AND be a successful writer AND get in better shape AND eat/live healthier AND set the life examples I want my son to emulate? How am I going to live in the moment and enjoy life as it comes rather than feeling like I’m on the downhill slide? How am I going to live without fear and guilt, and instead with joy?
I really looked at what has caused me to fail in the past: my expectations of myself, my emotional triggers, my perspective, how I lose control of my days and my time reacting instead of being proactive, how I start so well only to revert back to form. I also had a stern talk with myself: I don’t have to be perfect to succeed, but I do have to plan to succeed. Some days, I’m not going to win them all…that’s no reason to get down or give up. I can be patient and still be persistent. I have to live one day at a time.
Now, here I am, better late than never. It's January 19 and I’m resolved:
I will eliminate most processed foods and make exercise more of a priority (and drink more water, darn it).
I will cut back on my son’s TV time. Yes, it’s just Noggin and yes, everyone’s doing it. But I feel it’s important he not get into the habit.
I will make writing a priority every day…even if only for 30 minutes. Every. Day. (and no, my blog posts do not count). I will get said writing done before checking e-mail, reading blogs, etc.
I will do better at scheduling my days and be more realistic so that at the end, I feel I’ve accomplished something, even if it was only being the best mom I could that day.
I will put more focus on my spirituality.
I will stop and smell the blasted roses.
What are YOU resolved to do in 2010?