Tuesday, April 13, 2010

Doing My Part to Promote Literacy

My son is two. Since before he was born, I’ve been reading brainy baby books, trying to figure out how I am going to instill a love of reading and learning in his darling little mind. From the day I brought him home from the hospital, I read and read to him. I made him look at books when his little attention span could be measured in microseconds. I dragged him to the library for Mother Goose storytime when all he wanted to do was run around and yank books off of the shelves yelling “Yah!!!” like a Backyardigan Viking. I strapped him in his high chair and made him turn pages, naming what he saw, for ten minutes at a time. I followed the advice of Moose A. Moose on Noggin who says , “Read with your child for 20 minutes a day and promote a lifetime love of reading.” Yet he couldn't be bothered. I despaired that I was a writer raising the little boy who hated books.

So, much to my delight and joy, the boy has finally turned the corner. Books have become his new favorite past time. We read and read and read all day long, over and over and over again. I can recite the lines of Dr. Suess’s “The Foot Book” and Sandra Boyton’s “Moo, Baa La La La” and “But Not the Hippopotamus,” just to name a couple. Yay, Mom! I should be thrilled…

But have you ever tried to read Dr. Suess twenty times before your child goes to bed, get that rhythm and rhyme into your head and then try to write a sex scene?

He likes to do it on a train
He likes to do it in the rain
He likes to do it in a boat
He likes to do it with a goat?

Oh no, it’s not pretty…



  1. This is hilarious, Heather. My kids are grown and I can still quote the books we read eighty gazillion times. I've even used Dr. Seuss quotes IN my novels. But I have to admit--I've not brought him into the bedroom. Yet. Some of my characters are warped enough to try, though. :-) Great topic.

  2. So true! When my children were younger, a group of us writer moms used to amuse ourselves with dirty ditties aka your Dr. Seuss bits. Not exactly helpful for the manuscript in progress unless you count the stress-relieving power of a good belly laugh.

  3. With a goat? Really? Gee, I can't wait to read the next chapter.

  4. Sounds like Dr. Seuss rhymes are entering the adult section.
    With a goat? Maybe it means milking one?
    Wandering minds can get you in trouble and take you to naughty places!

  5. Hilarious! Now get back to work ;)

  6. LOL! How funny. I'm so looking foreward to reading that sex scene! And I'm SOOO glad to hear he didn't like books at first but does now. Every time I try to read to my baby these days, she just cries. It just about breaks my heart.

  7. Oh gosh, I'm still chuckling over this. Great post, Heather.

  8. LOL, I can just see you doing this!

  9. YEAH! MOM and Baby Boy! Just wait.. it gets even better! Interest is the first step!

  10. I would not like it with a goat,
    I just might want to on a boat,
    in a moat (would I float?)
    what a quote!
    That's all she wrote...:)